...nicely done, this:
Live 8 organizers shocked the world last week when they announced that the Canadian edition of the July 2 concert would be held in Barrie-a stunning one hour drive north of Toronto.
Those for whom the concert is supposed to be raising...awareness have expressed their sympathy for the poor, beleaguered Torontonians who will have to travel outside of the city to see Bryan Adams et al. churn out the crap this Saturday.
Speaking from one of the numerous UN camps set up in neighbouring Chad, dozens of malnourished survivors of the Sudanese government's genocidal rampage in the Darfur region expressed their outrage that the Canadian version of the pseudo-benefit concert will take place in Barrie, and not Toronto.
"These poor people will have to drive an hour north of the city, on a long weekend, to see the concert? I cannot believe this injustice to the residents of this majestic, world-class city. Think of all the lost souvenir sales for the city's merchants," said Amina Dilal, 22, whose entire extended family was slaughtered by janjaweed bandits during a bloody massacre earlier this year in her village.
"Why, I can't believe that the concert is not being held in Toronto," added Gabriel Mulanga, another Darfur refugee who has not had access to potable drinking water or adequate sanitation in nearly a year. "It just doesn't make sense. What is the point of even having the concert? Nobody will be made aware of the fact that 30,000 children around the world die every day die from extreme poverty if the concert's not held in Toronto."
I'm so touched by...their humanity. It's so nice of them to <sniff> care about our welfare. And the tickets were given away so fast too, there's some of us who won't even get to go at all. We'll have to watch it from our climate-controlled housing, reclining comfortably on our third-world-produced furniture, securely wrapped in our own self-righteousness as we drink bottled water and relish in our low child mortality rate. I tell you - it just isn't fair.
<sniff>
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