Philoillogica

Found: Hilary's fridge, stolen from a campus bulletin board

Delighting...

In the best blond joke ever.

break out the cham-pahn-ye

Children's Chrismas letters to Christopher Walken

via BoingBoing.

An early Christmas gift for the patriarchy-blamers, now in child size

Just a note: I Blame the Patriarchy has moved, and devoted fans of Twisty Faster may follow the varied adventures of the spinster aunt at her new address, from which I shamelessly stole this delightful image.

And speaking of ventricles, The Globe and Mail brings today's chortling readers this delightful tidbit that makes the cockles of my wizened, black heart pump with glee:

London  — Barbie, beware.

The iconic plastic doll suffers mutilation and “torture” at the hands of some young girls, according to research published Monday by British academics.

“The girls we spoke to see Barbie-torture as a legitimate play activity, and see the torture as a ‘cool' activity in contrast to other forms of play with the doll,” said Agnes Nairn, one of the University of Bath researchers.

“The types of mutilation are varied and creative, and range from removing the hair to decapitation, burning, breaking and even microwaving.”

Of course, the fact that the researchers' subjects are young girls means that this sort of recognition of the inanimate nature of unobtainably-bodied plastic figurines is naturally moralized in a typical gendered hysteria.  Instead of merely destroying Barbie, the girls are "torturing" and "mutilating" her, manipulating their property in indecorous versions of play approved neither by Mattel nor the society that thinks a female toy is useful only for undressing:

“The meaning of ‘Barbie' went beyond an expressed antipathy; actual physical violence and torture toward the doll was repeatedly reported, quite gleefully, across age, school and gender.”

While boys often expressed nostalgia and affection toward Action Man, the British equivalent of GI Joe, renouncing Barbie appeared to be a rite of passage for many girls.

“The most readily expressed reason for rejecting Barbie was that she was babyish, and girls saw her as representing their younger childhood out of which they felt they had now grown,” Ms. Nairn said.

“It's as though disavowing Barbie is a rite of passage and a rejection of their past.”

Girls rejecting the babyish notions of womanhood in favour of a more nuanced, complex understanding? What a catastrophe!

<snicker>

UPDATE: Oh, now the CBC's trailing the story like a good little mule.  Notice the new headline: "Girls often 'torture' Barbies, researchers say," aggravating where it cannot inform. 

What's that, CBC?  Many young girls like to mutilate and "torture" Barbie dolls, including popping off their heads and microwaving them, a British study suggests?  Oh, NO!  This is terrible!  It must be a high percentage of little girls who behave in such a violent manner, right?

Researchers at the University of Bath have been analyzing the effects of product branding and marketing on more than 100 children aged seven to 11.

Um - 100 children, CBC? the survey was of 100 children? YOU'RE PUSHING A SENSATIONAL STORY ABOUT GIRLS ON THE BASIS OF A SURVEY OF ONE HUNDRED????

Aw, forget it.  It's like shooting fish in a barrel. 

Marking ... nearly ... complete ... must ... let Internet ... know ... I'm ... still ... alive

I am a Space-invader. I will happily recruit the help of friends to aid me in getting what I want. I have no tolerance for people getting in my way, and I am completely relentless until any threats or opposition are removed. I try to be down-to-earth, but something always seems to get in the way. What Video Game Character Are You?

Toaster: 1, Cat: 0

Somehow, the fact that my cats can open the microwave doesn't seem so impressive now.

I always do what the memes tell me to

You Should Get a PhD in Liberal Arts (like political science, literature, or philosophy)

You're a great thinker and a true philosopher. You'd make a talented professor or writer.

What Advanced Degree Should You Get?

Incest, adultery, lust, murder, mayhem, rebellion, ribaldry? Bring it.

...because I'm so ready for you, Renaissance Drama comp, I've even bought special underwear.

Seriously? Who can fret about the tragicomic methodology when you've got pompoms on your underpants?

T-minus six days, and counting...

Delighting...

...in the upside of globalization

and a send up of Gwen Stefani's cultural appropriation.

Both stolen shamelessly from Crooked Timber.

"You know, I'm constantly being called non-descript, lacking any kind of image, having no personality, and each time I respond the same way, 'Kids - go to your room.'"

So the Parliamentary Press Gallery dinner was held last Saturday, and just in case you weren't holed up breathlessly in front of cpac with a bottle of vodka eager to play the Paul Martin drinking game (take one shot for every time he mentions his father; take two shots every time he mentions how much Belinda Stronach costs), ctv has a selection of clips from the speeches.

Governor-General Michaëlle Jean:

People asked me what I whispered to Adrienne Clarkson at my swearing-in ceremony.  It was this:  "I'm Governor-General - and you're not."

Paul Martin, reading from his diary from around the time of Belinda's defection from the conservatives:

Dear Diary: Ohmigod! OH! MY! GOD! So, like, David called, and he said that like, Belinda was, like, TOTALLY thinking about crossing over! And I'm like, "No, WAY," and he's like "Yes, WAY," and I'm like "NO, WAY!"

Stephen Harper:

It's nice to be here at the press gallery dinner, or as my staff calls it, the annual Parliament Hill Classic, where people who aren't funny tell jokes to people with no sense of humour.

And a special message from the Right Honourable Brian Mulroney.

Jack Layton, singing:

(If Jack had yet another $4.6 billion dollars), I'd buy some press with a hefty cheque.
(If Jack had yet another $4.6 billion dollars), I'd buy a freakin' seat in Quebec.

And what I'm wondering is, if Canadian politicians can be this funny once a year, why can't they be at least mildly amusing the rest of the time?

Oh, and in cased you missed it, here's Harper's blisteringly funny speech from last year.