Philoillogica

You know you're not old enough to vote when

...the phrase "doing your civic duty" makes you giggle uncontrollably in front of the polling booth's RO.

That said, I did NOT spill any of my Timmy's on my ballot, even after Abby and I made it official by swearing an oath of cohabitation in front of a notary, into which I inserted the line that though she spends most of her time acting seven and looking like jailbait, the red-headed broad's actually legal.

The DRO nearly snorted her Timmy's out her nose, though.

Till death do us Parti Québécois

Sarah: Will you love me forever?

Sandor: No.

Sarah: How about for the rest of our lives, then?

Sandor: No. Just for the rest of YOUR life.

Chardonnay: exposing lesbian subtext since confederation

Sarah: "You know, I think I'd sleep with Steve Martin if given the chance."

Abby: "No shit.  Hell, I'd sleep with YOU and Steve Martin if the opportunity ever presented itself."

Now isn't the winter of her discontent

Sarah: "It's snowing."

Abby: "You know what makes more sense than 69?"

Sarah: ...

Abby: "An inverted 77."  <mimes obscenity>  "Think about it."

Christmas shopping made easy, via msn

Sarah: "You know you could've asked me that, like, four years ago, when it happened."

Ashley: "Yeah, it's just that we never had much of a sisterly bong."

...

Ashley: "...bonD.  Sisterly bonD."

Sarah:" 'course, we never had much of a sisterly bong, either."

"Here, drink this kool-aid."

Abby: "Wanna just not wake up tomorrow?"

Sarah: "Yeah, kinda."

Because when you sacrifice them in the kitchen, the blood gets everywhere, THAT'S why

Maytag repair man: "Okay, 'fess up: which one of you two girls was washing chickens?"

Passing moment in the Sabby house

Telephone: "Ring!"

Sarah: "Hello?"

Person on the other end: "How does one deal with a magic penis?"

Sarah: " I don't know. That's a good question."

Person on the other end: "Isn't it?"

Sarah: "I certainly think so."

<pause>

Person on the other end: "Wait, you're not Abby."

Sarah: "I know."

Abby, picking up: "Hello?"

Sarah: "That's Abby."

Abby, hanging up: *click*

Sarah: "Bye." <hangs up>

Abby, wandering into Sarah's room: "Who was that?"

Sarah: "Dunno.  I think it was for you."

Tampax can just stuff it

Abby, after watching a commercial for a "revolutionary new tampon like never before!":

"Seriously? There's only so many ways to assemble some cotton with a string that goes up your woo."

All you need

Abby: "I love you."

Sarah: "Oh yeah? Why?"

Abby: "I dunno.  I'm never really sure."

Sarah: "Why does everyone keep saying that?"